Big things happen in life, even to children. Having to explain why these things happen, what they mean, and how to handle the emotions around them takes time, patience, and energy. Whether you’re a single parent who has to be everything to your kids or you’re in a supportive relationship and share the burden, it’s always going to be difficult to teach the kids about life.
But when the big questions come, about growing old, falling in love, dealing with trauma, and even just where babies come from, you shouldn’t immediately turn them away. Talking about it can help everyone, and when kids are curious, they might just ask elsewhere anyway!
Big ideas concerning the facts of life can be uncomfortable, but tips like these can help steer the conversation.
Keep it Simple
It might feel complex to you as well, but breaking the situation down to its barebones will help you convey the story to your kids. Separate the situation into extraneous details and the absolute need to know.
For example, if you and your partner are splitting, you could explain it with three simple points: mummy and daddy won’t be living together anymore, you can still see both of us, we still love you just as much.
Of course, depending on your child’s age you can add a bit more detail and try to answer their questions, but it’s always best to break things down first.
Ask a Solicitor for Advice
If you’re currently seeking out legal advice, aid, or representation, ask them about how to handle the situation with your children. Whether you’re talking to a sexual offence solicitor or a divorce lawyer, they should have some tips for you.
Solicitors like this will have dealt with many cases where kids were involved, and even if they don’t have direct information, they can help you plan a conversation. You can also contact a family law solicitor for some personalised advice. It might be an extra cost, but if it helps the kids get their heads around what’s going on, it’s worth it.
Redirect Their Attention
Sometimes a situation isn’t appropriate for kids to know about – plus, you wouldn’t even know where to start in explaining it to them. At times like this, you can redirect your child’s attention onto something else, like a new hobby, or heading somewhere fun like the park.
Kids may notice you avoiding their questions, but that’s something you can talk about as well. You can sit down with your child and tell them that some questions can be uncomfortable, and have the potential to hurt. Let them know that it’s OK to be curious, and that you’re not angry, but you’re not quite ready to talk about things.
This can be a learning moment; kids need to understand that talking is a two-way street and everyone needs to be up for a conversation.
Explaining big things to kids will always be awkward. However, it can be made easier.
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