The finality of death may seem almost incomprehensible, especially when it relates to a parent whose presence in your life may have never wavered before. The truth is that even when we’re grown with families of our own, we never stop needing our moms and dads, and when they pass away, it can be extremely difficult to deal with. Even if their death was anticipated, the loss of their support, advice, and affection can leave a vast void and sorrow that might seem difficult to repair.
Although you might hope that you can grieve quickly and get back to normal as soon as possible, the reality is that there is no right or wrong way to mourn the death of a parent, and for some, it can take a very long time to heal. It’s crucial that you take care of yourself while you’re going through the grieving process. Read on to understand some of the things you should think about.
Recognize That Your Feelings Are Legitimate
Sadness is, of course, normal after the death of a parent, but it is also natural for other emotions to take over. It’s perfectly fine if you don’t feel sad. Maybe you’re just numb or glad they’re no longer in pain if that was the case. Grief opens the door to a rush of complex, sometimes contradictory feelings. Your connection with your parents may have been difficult, but it was still an essential part of your identity. It’s normal to struggle or have difficulty coming to grips with your grief after such a significant loss, and it could lead to:
- Frustration or rage
- Remorse (perhaps for not contacting them regularly or for not being there at their death)
- Shock and emotional numbness
- Bewilderment, disbelief, or a feeling of unreality
- Despair or hopelessness
- Symptoms of mental illness, such as depression or suicidal thoughts
All of these feelings, or none of them, or a combination of them, are exactly right. Everyone grieves differently. Some will immediately want to look at Memorials.com – Funeral Urns & Memorial Headstones, whereas others will put this off for as long as possible as they simply can’t process what has happened. Whatever you feel is the right thing for you.
Let Yourself Experience The Loss
People respond to loss in various ways, but it is crucial to allow yourself to experience all of your emotions. There is no one correct way to mourn, no fixed length of time after which you should expect to feel better, and no phases or steps of grieving to tick off a list. This may be tough to accept in and of itself.
Denying your emotions may seem to be a quicker way to recover. You may also get the impression that people want you to bury your sorrow and move on before you’ve fully accepted your loss. Remind yourself that grieving is a tough and painful process. Try not to be swayed by the views of others. Some individuals get over their sorrow quickly and go on with the remains of their anguish securely hidden away. Others, regardless of how anticipated the death was, need more time and assistance.
If your parent died after a lengthy illness, you might have had more time to prepare, but no amount of planning will make your sorrow any less intense when it arrives. You may still be shocked and unbelieving, particularly if you hoped for their recovery right up to the end.
Take Care Of Your Wellbeing
Grief often has a major effect on one’s everyday life, and your mental state can shift abruptly and without notice. You might notice sleep issues, an increase or decrease in hunger, irritability, poor concentration, or increased alcohol or drug usage. It might be difficult for you to work, take care of home chores, or meet your own basic requirements. The necessity to finalize your parent’s affairs may overwhelm you, especially if you have to undertake this job alone.
Some people find solace in the distraction of work, but if at all possible, avoid pushing yourself to return before you are ready. People often overburden themselves with work, taking on more than they can easily manage, in order to avoid climbing the ever-present wall of unpleasant feelings. Finding a happy medium is essential. Some diversion may be beneficial, as long as you also find time to confront your emotions.When it comes to taking care of your own wellbeing, make sure you get enough sleep and that you don’t skip meals (even if you’re not feeling hungry, a healthy snack or small meal will help), drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, keep active, and channel your grief into hobbies or a grief journal, for example.