When it comes to the world of dating (before you had children) everything was free and fun, you could date whoever/whenever you wanted, and there were no rules. Once you have children and go through a breakup or a divorce, it makes getting back on the dating scene a little more tricky.
In one instance, your heart may crave the rush and feeling of butterflies associated with meeting someone you really like but at the same time, you don’t want to move too fast and potentially lead someone on because you’re just not ready for a serious relationship right now.
So what do you do? One of the things that turn single parents away from jumping back on the dating scene is that the responsibilities that come with having children can sometimes be a little too overwhelming to bring into the world of dating.
A lot of single parents have that mindset but apparently, in this day and age, dating has gotten a lot easier… you just might need a little help getting back out there.
Why Do We Date?
People date for many different reasons and in the same breath, many people have different ideas of what dating is. If you think about it, there are two versions of dating: dating with intent and dating with no intent.
Dating With Intent
Dating with intent means that you’re dating with a purpose in mind: finding someone to settle down with. No one ever has dating goals of finding someone to date for 4 months and when that’s over, you’re on the hunt again, looking for someone to date for 6 months, and so on… that’s not how it works. People who date with intent make their intentions very clear at some point during the beginning stages of getting to know that person.
Dating With No Intent
Dating with no intent is exactly what it says. You have no intentions on building something serious with someone. You’re just dating for the fun of it. For those that have been in relationships before, you know that in order to try and make things last, it takes work; there will be arguments and disagreements that you’ll have to work through. A person dating with no intent can easily just walk away from any type of negative energy because they don’t care and never had intentions of a serious commitment anyway.
Which Type of Dater Will You Be?
So, now that you know the two different types of dating there is, do you know which one you are? The fact that you’re not ready for any type of commitment right now is giving off “dating with no intent” flags but is that truly what you want right now? Maybe you’re a little bit of both… there are always exceptions to rules.
If you know that you will eventually want something serious in the future but not right now, you just simply need to make that known up front to the person you’re getting to know so you won’t be wasting your time or theirs. So, with that being said, let’s jump into these dating tips for when you’re not quite ready for a serious commitment just yet.
Don’t Introduce Your Kids to Anyone Until You’re Ready to Get Serious
Your children are the most important parts of your being. You don’t want to introduce them to someone you just met especially if you know that it’s not going to lead to anything serious. The child has already suffered a painful breakup or divorce… don’t put them through unnecessary turmoil.
Brush Up on Your Time Management Skills
When it comes to dating, you have to make time for it. Yes, you may have kids but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a personal life or even a sex life because of it. Now, the fact that you do have kids, that does mean that you’re not as free to do things on a whim so you have to plan accordingly. If you know on a Tuesday that you have a date that Friday, you need to start trying to make babysitting arrangements as soon as possible. Don’t wait until the last minute.
If You Can, Try to Date Other Single Parents
Don’t get me wrong, there are people without children who are just as great to date as a person with kids but people who have children already, they tend to have that deeper level of understanding when it comes to cancellations or wanting to take things slower than a person with no kids.
Dating as a single parent absolutely does have its challenges but it’s not impossible. Whether you’re ready for a relationship or not, you deserve to feel loved and to have fun. The fact that you’re not ready for a commitment yet is fine… just take your time out there and have a little bit of fun while you’re at it!