It’s never been more important to find someone you can love and trust than in the digital age. Without trust, the prospect of a relationship is quite bleak. People aren’t always who they seem to be, so do a background check even if you’re sure you’ve finally met the One. This is not snooping; it’s just a way to confirm they are as trustworthy as you believe. Plus, you can’t be sure they’re not running one on you as well. Here are a few more tips on choosing a partner to be with until death do you part.
If you listen carefully, you’ll find people tell you exactly what they are like. You don’t have to spend time figuring it out. If they say they don’t understand monogamy, don’t expect them to start. Likewise, if they tell you they’re almost always in a bad mood, don’t hope that you’ll make them happier.
Kindness is Irreplaceable
Finding a kind and loving person is pretty much everything we can hope for. If you meet someone like this, don’t let them go. You’ll find their family is just like them. That’s where they learned. Your life will be much better if your in-laws accept you as part of the family.
Take a Test Drive
Go on a test drive with them. Literally! Take a ten-hour drive with your future spouse or long term partner. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst – any potential difficulties will manifest in a very obvious manner.
Find Someone You Can Talk To
When we’re young, we prioritize things like status, money, and appearance. With time, we realize how wrong we were. Status and money might go, and appearance certainly will. Someone you can’t talk to is a poor match. You need to be able to connect and strike a conversation with them easily. This way, you can have fun communicating and doing things together without getting bored with the person.
Look for Someone With the Same Interests
On that note, choosing a person who shares at least some of your interests will make you very happy. Look at things you would enjoy doing together when you’re thinking about whether to get serious about a certain person.
If you love traveling, you won’t be happy with someone who never wants to leave the house. If music is important to you, someone who says they don’t care what they listen to will be a huge disappointment.
The Delicate Balance Between Similarities and Differences
If someone is too similar to you, you’ll get bored with time. You need just enough differences to be able to enjoy your time together in case you can’t go out. The lockdown taught us as much. However, too many differences are a recipe for disaster. You need to have at least basic things in common, like priorities in life. If one person wants to have children and stay home and the other is a workaholic, they’re not going to get far. Political and spiritual differences can be hard to cope with too, because our sentiments in these areas tend to become more intense with age.
This type of connection has less to do with sex than it does with touch. If you love touching, your partner should share that inclination. We have a relatively constant need for touch, but our desire for sex can undergo changes with time.
How Important is Their Sense of Humor?
They always say, “Find someone with a sense of humor.” Quite a few obstacles have been overcome thanks to a sense of humor. The ideal partner makes you laugh at times when you feel things couldn’t possibly get worse.
Watch for Red Flags
It’s OK to be passionate about someone – in fact, it’s quite desirable in a relationship – but someone who wants to rush into marriage can be a red flag. Ideally, you need to live with someone for two years before making this critical life decision.
Take your family’s standards into account. You don’t have to choose someone with your social status, but a vastly different one is a bad prospect. Never tolerate someone who doesn’t respect you.
What Does Science Say?
The Optimal Stopping Theory includes a formula to figure out how many people you need to go out with before you get serious with someone. According to it, you must choose someone if you’ve declined all partners in the first 37% of your dating history. Initially, this theory was applied to fish selecting suitors and is said to work in real estate shopping and other areas.
If you end up testing the theory, don’t despair. The likelihood of finding life on other planets might be higher than of finding a suitor.