Having kids is one of the hardest but most incredible things you’ll ever do. As well as keeping a tiny human alive (with all of the stress and reward that bring), one thing many people don’t tell you when you have kids is how much you can lose your identity and confidence. All of your energy is being poured into someone else, many mums forget to save something for themselves. If you feel that you’re in a bit of a rut and need to give your confidence a boost, here are 5 ways to go about it. 

Take a course

Just because you’re grown up with a family doesn’t mean you should stop learning. Stay curious, consider learning a new skill by taking a course. Online academic courses are super flexible so are great for studying around having a family, have a think about what would look good on your resume or just what you’ve always fancied learning more about. Another option would be to take a course or class in person, it could be anything from cooking to crafts. Since it would only be an hour or so a week it’s something you could do while your little one is at school or nursery, or if you’re lucky enough to have a friend or family member able to watch them for an hour then take advantage of this time. By learning new things you’ll boost your self esteem, it’s something that’s just for you and can help you build your identity again- something that’s easily lost once you have children and become a mother. 

Find a hobby

Hobbies are essential for people of all ages, yourself as a busy mom included. Hobbies from home are a good choice as they’re things you can do when your kids are napping, sleeping or occupied doing something else and again, you build your skills and therefore your confidence. How about blogging, writing, cooking or baking. You could craft such as paint or knit, or get out into the garden and grow plants and flowers. Having this time to enjoy, even if it’s just an hour a week can help you to relax and again, it’s a little time that you’re investing in yourself- which you really do deserve. As moms we’re always going to put our kids first, but we don’t have to totally forget about ourselves. There are so many tutorials and written guides online these days that you can connect with likeminded people and teach yourself new skills without even having to leave the house. 

Make time for relaxation

Relaxation and having kids are probably things you don’t associate together. And admittedly it can be hard, kids are tiny hurricanes of emotion and they demand so much of our time and energy. But when you do get the odd occasion to relax, grab it with both hands. If you have a partner, maybe you could arrange that one of you has a lie in on Saturday and the other on Sunday so you each get to catch up on sleep. If you have friends and family around who enjoy spending time with your baby, if they offer to take them out then use this time to treat yourself to a hot bath and a relaxing pamper session. Spend an hour watching some Netflix with your feet up, or go through a guided meditation while lying on your bed. These little snippets of relaxation can actually be really useful, it’s a chance to clear your head and just have a much needed break. When you get your kids back again, chances are you’ll be in a much better mood and ready to handle whatever challenges come your way!

Give your appearance a boost

As a mom, chances are you spend lots of time dressing your child beautifully, carefully choosing their outfits and ensuring they look great. Whereas you on the other hand look and feel bedraggled, rarely treat yourself and constantly put yourself at the bottom of your own priority list. It shouldn’t be this way, you deserve to feel nice and be treated too. Why not go to the hairdresser and have them create a low maintenance yet stylish cut and colour that makes you feel great. Buy some skincare products and use them after every bath or shower, CBD Skincare uk has a range of anti aging and pampering treats that are perfect for tired skin. Purchase some new makeup, and come up with a quick morning routine that doesn’t take long to do but leaves you feeling much better about yourself for the rest of the day. When you feel like you look a mess it really impacts your self esteem, as a busy mom you’re not going to be glammed to the nines every day but you can make a little effort just for yourself to give you some confidence. Something as simple as a new outfit and a slick of lipstick can make such a big difference, it helps you to find your identity again too. 

Meet with friends

Having a support system is one of the most important things in the world, particularly when you become a mom. Having people who will cheer you up when you’re down or just be a shoulder to cry on, celebrate with you, laugh with you or cry with you can make you feel much less alone in your parenting journey. If you’re lucky enough to have friends with kids as well then chances are you’ll become closer having gone through similar experiences. If you don’t, there are so many local groups and online forums which allow you to chat and connect with other mums. Parenting is hard, having others who can give you advice and who you can chat to about what’s going on can show you that you’re not a failure, no one really knows what they’re doing and we’re all just winging it! 

Vicky Charles

Vicky is a single mother, writer and card reader.


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