Last year, I decided I might like to meet someone. After five years of being single, I thought it might be nice to not be quite so single any more. My first attempt at that didn’t go so well, and a friend suggested I join a dating site. I resisted, because… well, I met Twunty on a dating site and look how that turned out. But on the other hand, I don’t exactly leave the house a lot; where else was I likely to meet a man?

So I joined a dating site, and I met a lot of weirdos. I even chatted to some of them. But I didn’t want to meet any of them… until this one. 

We met for coffee; we got on. Much better than expected. In his profile pictures (and on his Facebook profile, which I had of course stalked), he seemed very serious – but when I met him he smiled and that was that. 

Once we’d been out a few times, I realised that I was in a bit of a predicament: I am a single parent. I wasn’t sure about this guy, but I knew that if S didn’t like him, it didn’t matter how I felt about him. On the other hand, I also didn’t want to introduce my child to every random bloke I met on a dating site. In the end, rather than have some grand meeting where there was a lot of pressure and anticipation, things went a little differently.

We arranged to go and see a play, and decided that we would meet at my house and walk into town… and then I realised that we had arranged to meet before S’s bedtime. So he came in while I got my coat and shoes on, and he met S. She showed him her newly painted toenails. Since then, they have become best buddies.

So it’s official: I like him; S likes him. 

paul-samaire-vicky

He makes an effort. He does what he says he’ll do. He’s patient and kind and caring and when he’s here, he’s here. He doesn’t try to change me or manipulate me; he doesn’t question my parenting. When I tell him he can’t say certain things to S (I’m funny about things like using the word “naughty”) he says “ok” and takes it on board. He spends hours sitting on my living room floor, playing Frustration and colouring in pictures with S. Last weekend we went to a birthday party and while he was entertaining three children on a bouncy castle my sister leaned over to me and said you’ve found a good one there! On the way home, he drove us to the cemetery to visit my dad’s grave.

I’ve never done this before. I’ve met men before; I’ve had relationships before. But not when there’s a five year old involved. He doesn’t have children, but he’s made firm friends with S. And we’re figuring it out as we go. It’s terrifying… but it’s also great fun. I am happy.


Vicky Charles

Vicky is a single mother, writer and card reader.

9 Comments

Keri Jones · 17/01/2018 at 21:41

So happy to read this. I hope things continue to go well for you xxx

Alan Herbert · 18/01/2018 at 00:28

Absolutely delighted for you Vicky. 😁😁

Michelle · 18/01/2018 at 00:44

I am happy. Best sentence you’ve ever blogged 😆 you so deserve it.

Martyn Kitney · 18/01/2018 at 09:59

It’s so hard to map the minefield of dating as a single parent. That said, I know how long you’ve been waiting and clearly the time now was the right one. So happy for you and it’s lovely to see both you and S being happy

Relentleslypurple · 18/01/2018 at 12:24

Awww that was so lovely to read Vicky! I am glad you have met someone nice who gets on with S too x

Kim Carberry · 18/01/2018 at 22:53

Aww! I am so pleased for you! He does sound like a keeper. Good luck x

Richard@Pool Sunday · 22/01/2018 at 10:02

Congratulations Vicky, that’s great! Like Martyn, I also think It’s so hard to map the minefield of dating as a single parent. I feel he is a man of warmth and kindness. I hope good things come with your family! And I’m also looking forward to the next post!

Jemma · 01/02/2018 at 17:42

So pleased for you!

It’s hard, introducing your child to a new relationship. I’ve been there (from the outsider perspective) and it’s nerve-wracking for the new person too. Glad it’s going well for you all xx

How Not To Be Strong - Single Mother Ahoy · 23/01/2018 at 10:26

[…] No Longer Single… January 17, 2018 […]

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