You may have noticed, but I spend a lot of time on Facebook. I’m really interested in engagement and connection on social media, and do my best to be open to meeting new people and interacting with them when I can. Sometimes, Facebook seems a bit like a popularity contest, with people collecting page likes or friends like Pokemon, without really stopping to chat to the people behind those likes or friend requests along the way. I’ve been as guilty of this as anyone over the years, and last year I actually went through and deleted all the “friends” with whom I had no real connection.

It seems like somewhere along the line, we’ve all forgotten about the social side of social media. Here are five things I see a lot on my timeline, that are not really conducive to authentic engagement with people…

1. Liking your own status

Half of the people reading this will be thinking, what? Who does that? The other half will be thinking what? Why shouldn’t I like my own status?

People tend to like their own status because that action will put it into the newsfeeds of others, thus potentially showing your post to all of your friends again… but really, if they weren’t interested the first time around, they’re unlikely to be bothered the second. It’s a sneaky way of trying to get more eyes on your post, and the people who see it either recogninse what you’re up to, or think you’re a bit odd to be liking your own post.

2. Sending mass messages

The worst example of this is those ridiculous “support the fight against cancer by changing your status to the colour of your knickers and…” what?! Firstly, how will that do anything at all to aid the fight against cancer? And don’t tell me it’s to help raise awareness; when more than 50% of people born after 1960 will be diagnosed with cancer, I think we’re all quite aware enough, thanks very much. Besides this, there are the endlessly pointless group messages about all sorts of other nonsense.

I can’t stand messgaes that have been sent to half a person’s friends list, where people I’ve never even heard of are responding to it and I’m getting endless notifications. If you want to talk to me, talk to me. Don’t send an impersonal, mass message to me and 100 other people and expect me to interact with you. Or to change my Facebook status.

3. Sending app requests

If you have the time and inclination to sit playing Candy Crush or Farmville all day, be my guest. I have neither time nor inclination, and I really resent being invited to all this bollocks all the time! Stop it!

Also it’s worth bearing in mind that when you do send these requests out, people mostly read them and go “gosh, has this person nothing better to do? They really just spend all day online wasting time…” Do you want people to think that of you?

4. Cross-posting from Twitter

I have my Facebook page set to update my Twitter. It works well for me and means if I’m asking for help or advice (which I do a lot), I only need to ask the question once.

Never, ever set your Twitter to update your Facebook though. That’s a bad, bad idea. I’ve seen people who seem to have set their Twitter to update Facebook with every action, and their Facebook page is filled with “this person retweeted @thisotherperson saying something pointless” or “this person: @thisotherperson yeah mate I agree totally with yr other tweet my Facebook followers can’t even bloody see.”

Aside from the fact Facebook moves more slowly than a Twitter timeline, so your endless Tweets are clogging up my newfeed, it’s just unsociable to have all this inconsequential crap on your page. If you’re not on Facebook to engage with the people there, then just don’t bother with Facebook. You’ll alienate fewer people.

5. Endlessly promoting your blog or business

Seriously, your friends probably already know you have a blog or a business. And the occasional mention of it here and there is fine. But if the only thing you’re posting – on a page or a personal account – is links to your blog or business, or advertisements for it, then just don’t bother. That’s not engagement; it’s a bad marketing plan and it won’t work.

Thanks for reading! If you’ve been nodding your head along with these points, you may enjoy my other posts about Facebook.

Vicky Charles

Vicky is a single mother, writer and card reader.


Leandra · 25/07/2015 at 21:38

Fab advice as always Vicky ?

    Vicky Charles · 26/07/2015 at 11:23

    Thanks Leandra, glad you liked it!

Elizabeth Rebecca · 25/07/2015 at 21:57

Good tips – I only post about my blog on Facebook if it’s a post I’m really proud of or passionate about.

Lizzie Dripping

    Vicky Charles · 26/07/2015 at 11:23

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using Facebook to promote our blogs, but we need to remember that it’s the same as chatting to friends in the street and only ever speaking about our blogs! We need to have actual conversations too!

Mom Kat · 25/07/2015 at 22:40

I big yes to you on item #1? I find it hilarious to see those liking their own post. Thank for this list!
Sending love from #Weekendbloghop!

    Vicky Charles · 26/07/2015 at 11:22

    Thanks Kat, I’m glad you agree with number 1! It’s so silly isn’t it!

Amy · 26/07/2015 at 22:06

I really like it when you do this type of blog post and always come away with something thank you Vicky. I liked my own Instagram pic once and was like nooooooo ha ha can’t believe people do that on fb though lol! x

    Vicky Charles · 27/07/2015 at 09:24

    haha Amy I’m glad you find it useful! I do know people who routinely like their own status – or like their page status from their personal account. Apparently it works well for them but I don’t think it’s for me.

Tori Gabriel · 26/07/2015 at 22:30

Great post but you missed “vaguebooking”. When someone posts something like “I’m so angry/upset/depressed right now” and people comment “why?” and they reply “I’ll PM you” or “I don’t want to talk about it”. Then why even mention it, you fraggle?!

    Vicky Charles · 27/07/2015 at 09:23

    haha yes those drive me batty! Why bother!

Ruth @ Mummy and the Mexicans · 27/07/2015 at 05:42

An interesting post with lots of things that hadn’t really occurred to me before. I don’t actually post much on Facebook these days, just a few photos, usually and I keep my Facebook completely separate from my blog and other social media as I don’t really feel confident enough about the blog (yet) to want everyone to know about it (like colleagues and in-laws, for example). Maybe one day! For me, Facebook is just for people I actually know from real life.

    Vicky Charles · 27/07/2015 at 09:11

    That’s interesting Ruth; for a lot of people (myself included) Facebook is their main source of traffic! Have you thought about setting up a page and keeping it separate from your personal account?
    I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping your personal Facebook account just for people you actually know though!

Adventures of a Novice Mum · 27/07/2015 at 09:17

I need to give my Facebook page a make over really, and harness what it has to offer. I do a lot of #5 at the moment. :-) Good points.


martyn · 27/07/2015 at 23:42

Love this! A few of these I’m completely with you on! I have almost lost a little hope with Facebook. I have posted and used it to interact but get very little interaction that I lost a bit of the vibe. Might need to retry it though. Unless you have a fabulous post that ive missed on being active on Facebook. (Which if you have send it my way!)

    Vicky Charles · 28/07/2015 at 08:39

    Ah Martyn! You need to listen to my podcasts!

Carol Hedges · 28/07/2015 at 08:02

I’m not sure we follow each other on FacebooK …………………….

    Vicky Charles · 28/07/2015 at 08:38

    Ooh I’m not sure Carol! What’s your page? I’ll come and find you!

Jann Alexander · 29/07/2015 at 23:54

My solution was to quit Facebook. Oh yea, every now and then I get lured back on to find out about a loved one’s wedding or birth, but as for the day to day minutiae of life, they can all have it. Twitter floats my boat; and I get more traction for what I really care about—my blog, my novel in progress, photography techniques, the craft of writing, the funky city that’s vanishing around me as it becomes urban-trendy—on my Google+ business pages. But Twitter’s where I learn things related to my passions; anything I have to say about anything that matters to me gets lost in the endless Facebook shuffle of trivia and “promoted” posts.

    Vicky Charles · 01/08/2015 at 21:12

    Oh this is interesting Jann! I find I have more of a community around my Facebook page than on Twitter. I don’t really follow my personal newsfeed any more, just the one on my page timeline!

Patti Phillips · 30/03/2019 at 20:28

It’s 2019 and people STILL do these things! How annoying.

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