I don't remember your kid's name.


This post is a public apology to every parent I know. The bloggers, the friends, the acquaintances.

There is at least an 80% chance that I don’t recall your child’s name.

There is a 50% chance I don’t even remember the gender of your child.

Of course, if I see you fairly regularly, or I talk to you online daily, I probably remember. If your blog is named after your child, I probably know their name. If I read your blog.

If your kid goes to S’s nursery, I probably know their name and a whole bunch of random information regarding their favourite superhero.

There are a couple of children whose birthdays are even written in my diary. In fact, one friend has a daughter whose birthday is in my diary about five times for reasons known only to… well, nobody. I know her name though!

I follow lots of people on Twitter, and a large percentage of those are parent bloggers. I am friends with lots of people on Facebook, and lots of them have children. I haven’t the first clue as to these children’s names, ages, hair colours, whatever. In fact, a lot of the time I’m hard pressed to link a person’s Twitter account with their blog post I read last week.

None of this is to say I don’t like you; I’m sure you’re lovely.

Your kid is definitely the most gorgeous child I have ever set eyes on. I promise. I just don’t know his/her name.

Actually, I do feel pretty guilty about a lot of these children. When I see people in the street and we stop to chat, and I can’t remember anything more than “I’m sure she had a baby some time in the last 6 months…” it’s embarrassing and I feel awful. I should ask how the child is, make small talk about weaning or something. But I can’t, because I can’t remember anything more than the fact the kid was born at some point in the last two years.

I’d like to blame my lack of familiarity with your children on my being a single mother – I’m so busy looking after my own child, blah blah. The truth is that before S was born, there was even less likelihood of my remembering anything about your child. I was more likely to forget you’d ever been pregnant.

I’m just a bit rubbish at details. It’s nothing personal.

Categories: Uncategorized

Vicky Charles

Vicky is a single mother, writer and card reader.


Hannah Budding Smiles · 16/01/2015 at 10:43

I’ll admit to having scoured someone’s Twitter/Facebook/blog before now to determine their child’s name/age/gender before replying to a really thoughtful message from them asking how Toby is! (That’s my son, boy, 6 months old ;-) haha) I have a pretty good memory for things like names, but only once I’ve interacted with or met someone fairly regularly x

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:09

    If it’s someone I see regularly I’m usually ok – but if I bump into them in the shop having not seen them for a month so, it’s anyone’s guess!

Cardiff Mummy Says · 16/01/2015 at 10:44

I remember the children’s names – it’s just the names of the mums I forget!! There are a few mums I talk to in various baby and toddler groups, I’ve been talking to them for months, I know everything about their lives, but I’m too embarrassed to say I forgot their names after the very first time they told me! X

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:08

    Oh gosh how awkward! I know what you mean though, it’s embarrassing isn’t it!

Emma T · 16/01/2015 at 10:51

Blogging wise I’m terrible with names. It doesn’t help that people have twitter names, real names, blog names, their kids have initials, full names, pseudonyms etc.

Real life, I’d like to think I’m not bad with kids names. I’m good with faces, but getting less good over time with names…as for parents’ names. No idea, unless they’re specifically my friends. If they’re people I’ve met over time, I’ve no idea. Even with the mums and dads at swimming. Apart from 1 who introduced people properly at the start, I now have no idea of any of the other parents names, or they of ours. Kids yes, parents no idea. Which is awful really.

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:08

    Oh Emma, I am shocking with blogs. Even running the Blog Hop, and visiting blogs week after week, when someone mentions a blogger I’m always “oh, was she the one who had the child who had the thing…”
    All the parents at nursery are “Emilia’s Mum” or “Harry’s Dad.”

Jenny @ The Brick Castle · 16/01/2015 at 14:30

All the time. I never remember people’s children’s names any more. I used to run toddler groups, teach classes and work in a nursery and I knew EVERYONE’s names. Not now, I have’nt a clue, and yes, occasionally I’m simply not sure if it was a boy or girl child :D

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:06

    I used to remember all sorts of things but now I’m lucky if I remember to put my clothes on the right way round!

Tricia · 16/01/2015 at 18:23

I talk Kindergarten and I was able to know every child’s name within an hour. I really don’t know why I sometimes have a difficult time now. When I do remember the child’s name, I will most certainly forget the parent’s name. It’s one of the other!

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:05

    haha Tricia, that’s hilarious. Maybe we only have enough space in our heads for so much information – so when the child’s name goes in, the parent’s name falls out!

Mim · 16/01/2015 at 18:52

Ha ha this is so funny! Oh I’m so glad it isn’t just me – I draw a blank constantly – even before I had baby brain really but certainly afterwards. I don’t know if it’s because I know more kids now, I’m getting old or I’m just so obsessed with my own that I can’t be bothered to remember other peoples!! Mim :) #WeekendBlogHop

Lisa Cornwell (mummascribbles) · 16/01/2015 at 20:33

I am so the same as you with all people, children and adults! In fact, yesterday I bumped into a mummy outside nursery and said, oh our two have just been rolling around upstairs having a whale of time – I then spent the whole journey home saying, that was Miles’ mummy wasn’t it?! #weekendbloghop

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:04

    haha I do things like that! It’s always really cringey when you walk away isn’t it!

FromMummytoMum · 16/01/2015 at 22:22

I am like this! I try and remember things about people, especially when they know about me and mine and I genuinely don’t know who people are half the time!!

    Vicky Charles · 16/01/2015 at 23:01

    So glad it’s not just me! I feel really guilty but it’s not because I don’t like the person, just can’t fit everything in my head!

Rachel @ Parenthood Highs and Lows · 17/01/2015 at 12:13

I’m pretty good with remembering kids names – probably because being a teacher I had to remember hundreds – but I am exactly the same as you when it comes to adults names. At nursery everyone apart from my close friends are ‘Daisy’s mum’ and ‘James’s mum’. #weekendbloghop

Sarah-Jane K · 17/01/2015 at 12:55

lol i’m the exact same to be honest. If were not related then chances are i wont remember your kids name and even family aren’t guaranteed for me to remember their kids birthday (i come from a huge family on both sides).

Wee kids run up to me at school cause they know Agent M and say hi but i cant remember the majority of their names. It makes me seem ignorant but i genuinely don’t mean it. Its just easier to say “hey hun” when they say hi lol xxx

Everything Mummy · 18/01/2015 at 21:38

I am exactly the same my brain is like a sieve theres one mum up the school i chat to most days briefly I have no clue what her kids name is! x

playathometeacher · 19/01/2015 at 22:16

I am soooo glad I am not the only one! I have a hard time connecting blog account to twitter feeds! Some days I would wake and genuinely not remember if I woke to do a night feed or not!

    Vicky Charles · 20/01/2015 at 09:46

    haha I used to do that. You wake up going “did I sleep all night… did we get up… I don’t know.” S still sleeps in my bed and we still wake up a couple of times in the night. Usually for “big cuddle mummy.” Lovely… but damaging for the old brain cells!

Gemma Louise · 20/01/2015 at 19:35

Oh god I am so like this! I took to lots of wonderful fellow blogging parents and probably read some of their blogs when I get time. But I always forget names or genders – there is just too many too remember!! People in real life is a bit different as I don’t have many friends with children thank god!

thankyou for joining in on #mummymonday – love Gemma (host) xo


Alice Young · 21/01/2015 at 14:32

I used to be the same but seem to be getting better! My worst was the parents names I always knew the babies names at the groups we used to go to but had no idea what the mums names were ha! We’ve got enough to think about let alone learning names!!
Fab post and thanks for linking up. Hope to see you again! #mummymonday (co-host) x

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