I went to this meeting the other day… There were lots of people there, and the subject of confidence came up.
As you may know, I have had my fair share (possibly more than my fair share) of issues with confidence.
I listened with interest as one lady said something so blindingly obvious. I wondered why it had never occurred to me.
You need to be your own best friend… if you were thinking of doing something new, and your best friend said to you, oh no, don’t even try at that; you’ll be crap and everyone will laugh at you! you’d find yourself a new best friend pretty damn quick! If we wouldn’t talk to a friend like that, why is it ok to talk to ourselves like that?
(I’m paraphrasing; I wasn’t recording her or taking notes or anything!)
This lady is a performer; she says when you’re on stage, and someone is talking, or perhaps gets up and leaves, you can either assume they hate what you’re doing… or you can assume they’re commenting on how awesome you are, or need a wee. Why would you ever assume someone is saying something nasty about you, when there’s the possibility they’re complimenting you?
She is right, of course.
It really struck a chord with me. I’ve been trying very hard to replace my negative self talk with an irritatingly chirpy cheer leader who says things like “Yeah! You can nail this! You’re the best person for this! Go Team Vicky!”
Of course, the miserable, pessimist inside of me has been there for 32 years and quite likes her place. Hers is the first voice I hear in any given situation… the trick is to acknowledge what she says, thank her for her opinion, and then start listening to the happy optimist.