I was lucky enough to be asked to speak on LBC Radio this morning about absent fathers.

Shortly after I finished speaking, I received this email:

Hi Vicky

I heard you on the radio this morning and it really made me sad.

Your Ex sounds like a real scumbag and I can see that he has hurt you, but you have no idea of the damage you are doing to your daughter, I think it is very selfish of you.

A child needs TWO parents and whilst I understand where you are coming from I think you owe your daughter the chance of a well adjusted happy life, with all of her emotional needs being met and that can’t happen with one parent.  You will find out down the road that she will be very insecure with boys in her teen years and later on fail to be able to sustain a normal relationship with a man, then so the cycle will continue for another generation.

Forgive me for saying it but sometime the truth is painful, it seems to me from reading your blog that you have some way to go with regard to your own mental health.

I urge you to put the past behind you and stop using your daughter as some sort of validation, she is a human being and you have been given the privilege of raising her.  So stop celebrating your “single mother” status and put your child FIRST in everything.

Good luck

I’m unsure as to how to respond, or indeed whether to bother. It seems the single mother hatred is alive and well in the UK this morning.

Categories: Uncategorized


Vicky is a mother, a blogger, a podcaster and a social media trainer. She writes about life as a single mother, parenting and lifestyle type things.


Mummy With Issues · 20/11/2013 at 11:02

Oh my god. Some people. S IS and will continue to be a happy, healthy, little girl. Every teen has insecurities with members of the opposite sex. Every teen has insecurities with members of the same sex. Its called growing up and finding who you are. Hate dimwitted people who still believe that you need to be in a two parent family to survive. What about children who lose a parent early on

Michele Way · 20/11/2013 at 11:13

Personally I would make a response but make it as short as possible. 'Thanks for your email, and whilst I do not agree with your opinions I appreciate you taking the time to write to me.' I don't think responding with any emotion will make one iota of difference and at the end of the day it is your life and they obviously have personal issues of their own which are affecting their

Anonymous · 20/11/2013 at 11:15

You know i read the post from the one who heard you on the radio…. and well I read it again and said to myself. "Seriously?" …… This person may be using their own bad childhood as a buffer and put it on you. I am not gonna say anything bad about anyone but… If a parent raises their child right.. single or otherwise then there should be no problem. So long as there is love and

Tiffany Long · 20/11/2013 at 11:27

wow. if my daughter went anywhere NEAR her "father" she would be 1000000000 times worse off!!!! how absolutely disgusting of this person to tell you how to parent!! hope she has a "parent of the year" award!!!!!!

Anonymous · 20/11/2013 at 12:15

I get this crap all the time in person. Don&#39;t respond as you will never transcend the levels of ignorance.<br />Seeing a mother walk away from abuse is the best thing you could possibly have done xxx

Victoria - WTPP · 20/11/2013 at 13:01

The best thing you could do as S&#39;s mother is get out of that situation and not have her be around it. People like this annoy me. They should be applauding your strength not dragging you down. Having one good role model and figure in her life will and is making her a clever independant young lady..free to make her own opinions on the oppsitite sex. What a pointless hurtful email, x

debbie · 20/11/2013 at 14:43

Hi, I heard part of your interview on LBC this morning and have read the email you received. Like you I am a single Mum although not by choice. My husband walked out on me and my two boys one was two weeks old the other 8 years. For a lot of single mothers out there being single is not a choice it certainly was not mine but I do the best I can. As it is I worry that it is not enough and over

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