I think it might be time to put S into her own bedroom.
She’s coming up on 19 months old.
For a brief period when she was first born, she slept in a moses basket for a few weeks before I just gave up on it, and decided to just have her sleep in my bed. It was just easier for night feeds to have her right next to me, and so much easier to get us both back to sleep afterwards too. I ended up feeding her to sleep most of the time, which everyone said was a bad thing, but it was the best choice for us at the time.
When S started being able to roll, I took me bed off its frame and we began sleeping on a mattress on the floor. For a brief period we experimented with me sleeping on my mattress and S sleeping on a single mattress right next to it, but I felt she was too far away from me, and so that idea did not last!
When S was around 11 months old, she went through a particularly difficult patch of teething. She cried all night in pain, and didn’t want to be cuddled or held in any way. Many nights, I ended up putting a Baby Jake dvd on and rocking her to sleep in a long-outgrown bouncy chair (never underestimate the worth of a Fisher Price Calming Vibrations chair!) I’m fairly sure, hellish though those nights were for both of us, they helped S to get used to going to sleep without being fed.
When S got a little older, and had gone well past the point of no return where the bouncy chair was concerned, I moved the cot into our bedroom . I continued to feed her to sleep in my bed, but on the nights where she just couldn’t sleep and didn’t want a cuddle or a story or seemingly anything, I would put her in the cot to watch Baby Jake while I got a little rest.
After a while, I started feeding her to sleep in my bed and then carefully putting her down in the cot. Then when she woke in the night I would bring her into bed with me. Eventually, once she was 13 months old, she just slept straight through the night.
Since then, things have gone up and down. She’s had trouble with teething, we’ve had nights where she’s been rocked to sleep in a pushchair while watching Despicable Me on repeat. But on the whole, she sleeps in her cot. My bed is now back on its frame.
I have been thinking recently though, that perhaps she needs to be in her own bedroom. Not because I need my space – I’ve only just managed to tear myself away from sleeping head-to-head with her on a mattress on the floor – but because I think perhaps I disturb her when I go to bed.