I am taking part in Yummy Mummy in Training’s Blog Every Day in August challenge.
Day 15 is: I’m Thankful For…
Oh, this one is easy! I’m thankful for this:
I have never been a “happy” person. In fact, you could say I was fairly miserable and negative for the first 30 years of my life. I had a nervous breakdown; I nearly killed myself. I had no idea who I was, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do. I got into an awful, destructive, abusive relationship. I got pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do. I felt like I was drowning.
And then S was born. And slowly, over the space of a few months, my life clicked into place. I know who I am now, I know what I’m doing, what I want to do, who I want to be. I have no money, my house is a mess, I’m never on top of anything. But I’m happy. So happy.
So many times through the course of my pregnancy I thought I would lose her. My labour was 10 hours of worry that she wouldn’t make it. Then she was so tiny, so small, and I was so unsure of what I should do. I thought they’d take her away from me. I honestly believed I didn’t deserve to be her mother, and that she would be taken. But she wasn’t. And I am so unbelievably thankful for that. For her.
They say everything happens for a reason, that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and so many other cliches… Turns out they’re all true.