I had a minor meltdown this evening.
After a week of S waking up at 4am and not really settling;
A really hectic, unsettling weekend;
2 months of being back at work and my only time to myself being after bed time or 15 minutes on the way to and from work;
A really very hectic day at work
I really was very tired and fed up. The plan was for S to go to bed at 6 as usual. I would then eat some tea, watch some crappy telly, and go to bed shortly afterwards.
That didn’t work. She went to bed at 6, but she didn’t go to sleep. She sat in her cot periodically crying, then stopping just long enough for me to think perhaps she’d gone to sleep and I could have a break… And then starting to cry again.
I came up to try and settle her several times; nothing worked. She was not in a good mood. She wasn’t even properly crying, there were no tears. She was just cross at being left alone.
In the end I abandoned my evening and any thoughts I’d had of eating tea or chocolate, or of catching up with Big Brother or putting another load of washing on. I came upstairs, lay down on the bed with her, and fed her to sleep.
Scared she would wake up again if I moved too far away from her for too long, I read my Kindle for half an hour. Then I decided to fetch the laptop from downstairs and see if I could use the time to catch up on reading some blogs.
The problem is that when I started feeding her, it was really just to calm her down. I didn’t think she’d actually go to sleep. So of course she fell asleep star-fished in the middle of my bed, on top of my duvet. I managed to move her slightly though, and now I’m going to bed.
Yet again, a massive meltdown avoided by just giving up my rigid idea of what I had to do in order to relax. I should really learn to accept these situations before I start to hate everything shouldn’t I!
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