Here is an example of why attachment parenting is the right choice for me
From day one, I’ve never left S to cry. She cries so rarely, in fact, that if she does shed a tear I know something must be really wrong. I hold and cuddle her as much as I can. I prefer the sling to the pushchair, and I talk to her all day, every day, about everything. In the evenings I feed her to sleep and she shares my bed. I think it will be a long while before I stop breastfeeding her.
From previous posts on here, I know this is far from “weird” behaviour, and a lot of my friends have a similar approach to parenting, which is refreshing and generally good to know.
This weekend, I took S to a charity sale in the local community centre where my mother lives. The place was filled with aunts, cousins, extended family and friends, people I hadn’t seen for a long time and many S had never met (all lovely, though). I handed S over to the first person we saw as we came in the door, and barely held her again until we left, more than 3 hours later. During that time she made friends with everyone and was passed from person to person without a complaint. In fact, the only times she made a noise were when she was bored of her current surroundings and wanted to be moved about a bit. She sat on one young girl’s lap for over half an hour, happily playing with her feet and smiling up at her – I think the girl in question is a distant cousin, but I’d not seen her for about five years. S didn’t care though; she had a friendly face and wanted to hold her, and that was good enough for my little bundle.
People seemed surprised that S was so sociable, and happy to be passed between people she didn’t know terribly well, or had never met before. I wasn’t, though. She had been brought there by me, and she has a secure bond with me. She felt safe because I was nearby, and was clearly not stressed or concerned at her being passed around different people. She did cry once, and it was a proper meltdown; but that was because she was hungry and I’d left it a little late to organise her lunch. Once she’d been fed she was fine.
There is an argument that if you hold your baby too much, always pick your baby up when she cries, never put her down, she will become clingy and needy and never want to leave your side. The counter to this argument is that by holding your baby as much as possible, you create a good attachment between you, so your baby feels safe and secure enough to go out into the world and explore things on her own. For me, this weekend ended that argument for me. S’s behaviour was a clear sign that I am doing the right thing by spending so much time holding her. Plus, I have killer biceps now, and my shoulders look fairly awesome too!
I think a lot of people feel like “spiritual practice” and “parenting” are two mutually exclusive terms; that you can’t really have a spiritual practice while you also have a small person or people running Read more…